Kwento sa Jeep

Minsan sa aking pag uwi galing sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas, sumakay ako ng jeep. Mula Philcoa, medyo puno na ito. Subalit, pilit pa rin pinagsisiksik ng drayber ang kanyang mga pasahero. Nung huminto ang jeep sa tapat ng simbahan ng Iglesia ni Cristo sa Central, may umakyat na dalawang estudyante. Di ko lang alam kung pumapasok sila sa parehong paaralan, pero alam ko na magkaibigan sila. Mula pag akyat, hanggang sa pagbaba nila walang humpay ang kanilang pag-uusap at paminsan-minsan ay may kalakip na tili at hagikhikan. Tila baga wala silang pakialam kung pinagtitinginan sila ng kapwa nila pasahero. Nung malapit na ang jeep sa Ever Gotesco, nagsalita ang matanda na may kalong-kalong na siguro'y limang taong gulang na batang babae: "Mama, ibaba mo kami sa Ever ha?' Pagdating sa Ever, nagwika ulit ang matanda, "Mama, para lang sa tabi". Ngunit, ang mamang drayber ay basta na lang huminto, at sinabi: "Sige, pwede na po kayong bumaba." Bumaba ang lola hatak-hatak ang kanyang apo, ngunit bago tuluyang bumaba ang bata, nilingon nya ang drayber, dinuro habang sumisigaw, "Di ba ang sabi sa yo sa tabi? Bakit dito mo kami pinabababa?" Sabay kaming lahat na napatingin sa bata, at napangiti na lamang. Dumeretso ang mamang tsuper, ngunit huminto pagdating ng Litex para magsakay ng mga pasahero. Unang umakyat ang dalawang babae na may dalang bisikleta. Pinasok nila ang bisikleta sa loob ng jeep. Sa kasamaang palad nagulungan ang isa kung paa, pero di ko na lang pinahalata. Pagkatapos nun, umakyat ang tatlong dalaginding. Akala ko mga totoong neneng sila. Hindi pala. Inabot ng isa ang kanilang bayad, sabay sabi "dalawa po, jan lang sa FCM". Huh?! Dalawa, eh di ba tatlo sila? Tsk..tsk... ang babata pa, madudugas na. Sa di kalayuan, umakyat ang isang ale na may dalang bayong at karton. Doon sya naupo sa likod ng drayber. Pagkalapag nya ng kanyang karton may tumahol na tuta. At hindi na nagtigil ang pagtahol nya hanggang sa ako'y bumaba.

 

Talaga nga naman, minsan masarap sumakay sa jeep, kahit siksikan, maalikabok at mainit. Kasi ang bawat taong umaakyat ng jeep ay may hatid na kwento sa taong nakamasid. :-)

POWERLESS

the Zephyr crept in me

i felt a tingling sensation inside

i quivered for a moment

but gradually it faded.

a stupor replaced it

overwhelming my being

consuming my soul

leaving my body

powerless.

The New Basketball Superstar

Last Monday, that was April 25, 2011, we brought Matt to Mater Carmeli School to attend a basketball clinic. it was his first time, so he was really pretty excited! The night before that, he could barely sleep well. it was about 11 o'clock when he decided to close his eyes. when he woke up that Monday morning, he was very ecstatic. he even woke up earlier than usual. he truly looked forward to this day. so we gave him his milk, showered him, then dressed him in his jersey, complete basketball attire so to say. he picked up his ball, and walked out of the gate so proudly as if he were a big guy. when we arrived in school, his dad led him to the group of boys at the quadrangle, getting him familiar with the environment. we parted ways. i don't like watching him play that time for he might feel so uncomfortable with my presence. the next time i saw him, he was already jogging around the quadrangle together with the other big boys, his co players. he was the shortest and the smallest among them all but he was as determined as they are.i felt so elated watching him from a far dribbling the ball bigger than himself, or stretching and bending his legs to the best that he could. whatever the coach asked them to do, he did it with enthusiasm. the by passers couldn't help but stop and look at him in awe when they saw this little boy showing his prowess in dribbling the ball. he was a sight to behold! he got many friends for an instance, he felt he was one of the big guys. and i know this gives him the boost to himself and it increases his self confidence. he has potential to excel, maybe not in academics, but hopefully in basketball which he loves most!

The Little Boy

there was once a little boy

who didn't like any toy

he sure was a coy

for all things he did destroy!

he wasn't easy to handle

neither he was humble

he even loved to mumble

words with no sense at all!

aye! how awful he was!

he felt he's a brass

he never thought the mass

would consider him a crass!

His Point of View

This morning when I entered my class at III-Compassionate, the room was in total chaos. While asking them to settle down, one of my students handed me a crumpled brown paper with writings on it. I simply pocketed it for I was too busy instructing them to pile up their things that are scattered on the floor and to clean their respective areas. While doing what I asked them to do, some of them whispered audibly to read the content of that piece of paper. I waited till we finished saying the Opening Prayer and everybody was seated. I drew out the crumpled paper from my pocket and I went over it; then, I looked at the owner of the paper (for permission), and started reading it aloud. Here is what he had written: (Note: I only edited the grammar, everything here is the same as what and how he had written it.)

"I’ll never sing of love if it does not exist…”

When I was brokenhearted and heard this song, I began to think. I have proof that other people do not have love ruling over them. I overcome all my negative thoughts because love is not a thing to be miserable about. How can we love if hate is everywhere? How can we love if it makes us more miserable? Do love letters, love songs, or love greetings work the magic? No! It is inadequate for us to love. Most people have love in them, but more and more people do not love; they even hate. They are having love, joy and compassion as mere sentiments and went on to the path of thoughts where love, joy, compassion, and sorrow do not exist. Pain is the ruler of that world. A world full of pain is joy for me. It’s not that I’m the best of it, but it is my happiness, as I said. Love? What is love? Love is like a toy for a child. When you’re tired of it, you keep it in the storage. I can’t wait for me to die. I can’t feel love and sympathy. I can’t feel joy and sorrow. I breathe deeply and whispered, “here man begins and everything disappears.” It is somewhere where no one has emotions. This is the world I want to be. Nothing except you exists. Not even will power, knowledge, and emotions. Time and space disabled and it is all because of one thing. A thing they said that is so strong that it can even destroy us all. It is stupid. It is dumb. And that is love! My feelings for now…

After reading this, I told him that it’s alright to express himself so that we would know that he needed love; that he wanted to be loved, for it seems he is full of hate; perhaps he is troubled, wounded. And he completely needs understanding, healing...Everyone was attentive when I read this before them, and so I hope that they, too, will learn to understand how this young boy feels, and why perhaps sometimes he chose to remain quiet and sulk in the corner. I wonder how many of them are in my class, in our school? i wonder how many of them can survive to handle this feeling... i wonder if their parents know how and what they feel. I am sad knowing that kids like him, as young as they are, are very troubled. I hope before the school year ends, i have helped him.. i hope i had made even just a little difference in his life.

Suko na...

nakakatamad

nakakaantok

nakakapagod

nakakalugmok!

hay, bakit ganito

ang naging mundo ko?

paulit-ulit na lang

wala ng pagbabago!

nakakapikon

nakakabato

nakakalungkot

ang buhay na ganito!

gusto kong umiyak

gusto kong sumigaw

gusto kong mawala

gusto kong matunaw!

isa pa't ayoko na

isa pa't ako'y mawawala

isa pa't bibigay na

ang puso kong nawalan ng pag-asa!

The Tryst

This morning i went to my younger son's school for i was called for a conference with the directress. the start of the conversation wasn't already good because i already felt that there's a tension between us. she started asking me about my personal observation with my son... in short pointing to me bluntly my misgivings as his mother. it's painful but i accept it. i know i have my own shortcomings, we're always busy with our own work and we always come home late, forgetting to attend to his needs. however, i also pointed some of the flaws of the school, especially on academics but she can't accept it. imagine, my son is only four years old, and they give him test questions like: connect number 18, 17, 13.. to their words. My gosh! my son could barely produce a sound, he couldn't simply read a three-letter word, how would he answer such kind of a test. another, they asked him to identify leaves that are edible and non-edible, but the pictures they had given were printed in black and white. i myself couldn't even distinguish which one is edible, and which one is not at first glance, how much more my 4 year-old son?! she said, it's right to teach them lessons like these since they are still young; they will be able to absorb all these things. huh, what an explanation! she also told me, they transferred my son to an earlier schedule, 8:00-10:00 am, putting him to an enhancement program. i told her it was alright to place my son in the enhancement program, but i think it was already too late because they did that in February only. she insisted that they started the program in January, and told me "you don't know because you did not attend the meeting", what a slap on my face! yet i remain calm..when i got home i immediately checked the letter containing the new schedule, it was dated February 7. i wanted to go back to the school and show it to her to tell her that she was wrong, but i told myself it won't do me any good. it was not even stated in the letter that it was because of the enhancement program that they are changing his schedule. we were not even informed that they are scheduling a conference with parents whose children have academic problems in school... or maybe because it's only our son who's having problems in school. she said it's always our responsibility to come and confer about our son's progress in school. but what is the purpose of the correspondence notebook? i did not stay longer, i was getting impatient already, so i ask her to end the conference. i told her i was disappointed, and she too said she was disappointed. i don't really know what she's disappointed about. when i walked out the door of her office, i didn't look back. all i know, i had great regrets. i regret, i have enrolled my son in their school, i regret they had an administrator like her who is not open-minded, not open for suggestions and comments, and i regret i paid much for my son's education not getting the equivalent results my son rightfully deserves.